A Louisiana mom has gone viral — and ignited a fierce debate on social media — after boldly stating that she’s raising her kids to hit back when someone hits them first.
Brittany Norris, 27, took to TikTok with an unflinching message: “If someone hits my kid, I’m not raising them to go tell the teacher. Not raising a snitch. Handle it yourself, hit back, defend yourself, and if that’s not enough, I will interfere,” she said in the video.
She then boldly told social media users: “If that’s controversial, I don’t really care. Hit back harder. Thank you.”
Her “no snitching” stance lit up social media, with more than 42,000 likes and hundreds of comments, many either cheering her on or calling her out.
“Never throw the first punch — but finish it”
In a follow-up with TODAY.com, Norris clarified that while she doesn’t advocate starting fights, she believes in finishing them.
“I would rather be in the principal’s office because my child stood up for herself,” she said. “Telling the teacher is good for long-term conflict management, but doesn’t go far toward immediate resolution.”
Her video, which focused on her 5-year-old daughter, sparked an avalanche of opinions, turning a typical parenting decision into a national conversation.
Online reactions: cheers and jeers
Some praised Norris’s fighting words, with one person commenting: “I was always told, ‘Never throw the first punch but you better finish it.’”
“Bullies only bully the ones who allow it," a second added, with a third writing: “Defending yourself is a skill you need in the real world and they don’t teach you that in school.”
However, others disagreed and backed a peace-first approach.
One person commented: “I’m teaching my kids, ‘Ask them to stop,’ ‘Tell them to stop,’ ‘Make them stop.’”
“This energy is gross. Hitting people isn’t OK," another typed, with one person adding: “I’m teaching them to use their voice first, because doing the same thing back doesn’t make sense.”
One TikTok user claiming to be an elementary teacher commented: “This is the mindset of nearly every parent and fighting is out of control. We won’t even know students are having problems with one another because they won’t tell us about it. They will just fight.”
Experts warn of real-world consequences
Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and resilience expert, tells TODAY.com this debate cuts to the core of parenting values.
“The problem with telling people what they should or shouldn’t tell their kids about hitting back is that you are telling them what their values should be about violence, protection, safety, dignity and autonomy,” Gilboa said.
She recommends a peaceful first response — saying “Don’t do that,” walking away, or asking an adult for help — while acknowledging that some parents may want to raise more combative kids.
“That may be the warrior you want to raise,” she said, “but then you owe it to your kid to talk to them ahead of time about how they may get punished by that situation.”
What’s the takeaway?
Whether you're team "hit back harder" or "talk it out," experts say the conversation matters more than the command. It's not just what parents teach their kids, but how — and why.
As for Norris? She’s standing her ground. “Stick up for yourself,” she told TODAY.com. And if the fists fly, she’s not sending her kid to the teacher — she’s sending them back into the fray.