relationships3 min(s) read
Ex-CIA spy reveals a secret conversation trick to get anyone to trust you straight away
A former CIA spy has opened up about a simple trick to making just about anyone trust you.
Have you ever met a person and instantly felt at ease in their presence? Some people have a seemingly God-given ability to get people to open up to them and spill their darkest secrets within minutes of meeting.
You may have assumed that charisma is a trait they were born with - or they might be employing a CIA-backed trick to building up your trust without your knowledge.
Andrew Bustamante, a former CIA agent, entrepreneur, and author, has revealed there may be a way to become the person that everyone feels comfortable opening up to.
He revealed that there is a “scary but simple” rule the CIA operates by: “You are either in control or under control - there is no other option.”
Bustamante was 27 years old when he was recruited by the CIA, and says that prior to joining, he’d always thought he was good with women, but soon realized he was a “dumba**” because “I spent most of my time talking about me, my history, my experience, my qualifications, my ideas.”
Revealing the key thing he learned to making people trust you, Bustamante explained: “The CIA taught me that there’s a very simple process to rapidly build trust and influence in other people and that process involves asking two questions and then making one validating statement.
“After that validating statement, you repeat the same cycle again. And that the process of asking questions and validating other people’s ideas subconsciously makes the other person think that you are like them and it makes them feel like they are interesting and they are important and they are relevant, and then they have a dopamine rush that makes them feel good being around you.”
He revealed that he usually starts off with questions that are relatable to the person he is speaking to, in order to build up an instant rapport and make the person feel seen and understood by asking follow-up questions.
While he might use this for picking up women, there can be many other instances where this could be seriously useful.
And he also revealed that by using the method, he manages to learn all about the other person while giving away far less about himself by steering the conversation toward delving deeper into questions about them instead.
So if you ever find yourself divulging more than you usually do to a stranger at a bar, and wondering why and how they made you comfortable enough to do so, they might just be using CIA-approved techniques to get you to open up.