Annaliese Holland, a 25-year-old woman from Adelaide, South Australia, has made the heart-wrenching decision to end her life through voluntary assisted dying (VAD) after a lifetime of battling chronic pain, nausea, and a rare, terminal neurological disease.
Holland, who has been ill since childhood, has endured numerous hospitalizations and surgeries as doctors struggled to diagnose her condition.
At 18, she was finally diagnosed with autoimmune autonomic ganglionopathy, a rare autoimmune disease in which the body attacks the autonomic nervous system, leaving her unable to control involuntary bodily functions.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, AAG is extremely rare, as in the United States, doctors diagnose about 100 people with the condition each year.
Holland said she had been told her condition was terminal when she turned 22. Credit: Annaliese Holland/Instagram
A Lifetime of Illness
Holland’s illness has caused debilitating symptoms such as chronic pain, vomiting, and an inability to digest food, requiring her to rely on total parenteral nutrition (TPN) for the past decade.
TPN delivers nutrients directly into the bloodstream via an IV, bypassing the digestive system.
This method, while essential for survival, comes with the risk of life-threatening infections.
Holland has survived sepsis 25 times - an infection that causes the body’s immune response to damage its own organs and tissues.
Her condition has left her with fractures in her spine and sternum, putting dangerous pressure on her heart and lungs.
“You can’t change it, so you have to just deal with it really,” Holland said in an interview. “Even though there are beautiful moments in my days, they are exhausting and long. I’m in chronic debilitating pain.”
Diagnosed Too Late: A Terminal Prognosis
It wasn’t until Holland turned 18 and transitioned from pediatric to adult care that doctors were able to properly diagnose her condition.
By the time she turned 22, she had been told that her disease was terminal.
Despite various treatments, her health continued to decline, with medications weakening her bones and causing other life-altering complications, such as necrosis, which has affected her teeth and bone structure.
“I was so miserable,” she recalled. “I’m not living. I’m surviving every day, which is tough.”
As her friends married and started families, Holland found herself “stuck” in a hospital room, unable to live the life she once imagined.
Her disease felt like “walking on a field of landmines,” she said, adding that she struggled with feelings of isolation. “No man wants to date someone dying, I get it.”
Annaliese Holland chose to die at age 25. Credit: GoFundMe
The Decision to Die on Her Own Terms
After years of enduring constant pain and medical interventions, Holland has made the difficult decision to end her life on her own terms through voluntary assisted dying (VAD).
The option, which is legal in Australia, allows terminally ill patients to end their life with self-administered medication.
“Life for me now is getting up each day, doing what I need to do medically, taking the painkillers, trying to get through the day, just to go to bed and do it all again,” she explained.
While Holland has found peace in her decision, it has been an emotional struggle for her family.
Her mother, Armanda, still hopes for a miracle, but she also understands the immense challenges her daughter faces.
Holland’s father, Patrick, initially struggled with her decision. “So you’re giving up?” he asked when she first brought up ending her life. However, after a particularly close brush with death, the 25-year-old was able to express her feelings clearly.
“Dad, please let me go. I won’t hate you if you do,” she said through tears. “I told him, ‘If this happens again, I don’t want anything. Please know that in my heart, you letting me go and saying no to treatment… I’m happy with and that’s what I want.’”
Patrick finally came to terms with her decision, telling his daughter: “I don’t know how you do it, but I totally understand that you’ve had enough.”
After a three-week evaluation process, Holland was approved for VAD.
“It’s one of the bravest things you could ever do, to say I want VAD,” she said. “It’s not giving up. You’ve had enough and you fought bloody hard.”
While her decision has torn her family apart emotionally, the young woman takes solace in knowing that she is finally able to choose when and how her suffering will end.
“Knowing I can go when the time is right is just a huge relief,” she shared. “I feel so lucky that I do have this choice.”