Lana Rhoades, a former porn star, has spoken out about a disturbing scene that will always haunt her.
The 28-year-old, who rose to fame in 2016 and quickly became one of the industry's biggest stars, has been candid about the emotional toll of her career in adult entertainment.
In a heartfelt conversation on her podcast, Three Girls One Kitchen, Rhoades reflected on some of the most painful moments of her past, including one traumatic scene that left a lasting impact.
"I feel like I'm in denial sometimes, and I can't accept some of the things that I've done," she shared.
"There was one thing that, y'know, I tried talking to a therapist about before something that I had to do for a scene that was really rough for me."
Lana Rhoades has not been quiet about her regrets of working in the adult industry. Credit: Instagram
Rhoades described the disturbing scene in shocking detail: “Basically, this guy had a bowl and he, like, gagged me until I threw up into it and he, like, p***ed in the bowl, and during the scene he asked me to drink it, and I didn't know how to say no. It was one of the most disgusting, foul scenes."
The trauma from this experience, as well as others like it, contributed to her decision to leave adult film, and she has since worked to move on from what she describes as a deeply painful chapter of her life.
Her Regrets and Mental Health Struggles
Rhoades, who is a mom, has also been open about her regrets regarding her decision to enter the industry at 19, admitting that she was "not mature enough" to fully understand the consequences of her actions when she started.
"It's like circus acts," she explained in an interview on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast.
"As a performer, when I was doing it, it was like, 'What face can I make? What sound can I make? What can I do in this movie to make it the best one?'"
She also revealed that she never truly enjoyed the work, stating: "I don’t like having sex... I never hook up with people, I don’t find people attractive, and I’ve always been like that. It’s not like there was a change after doing porn."
Despite the success and fame she garnered, such as becoming Pornhub’s Most Popular Female Performer in 2019, Rhoades said the personal cost was high. "It’s the stigma that will follow you for the rest of your life," she added.
Rhoades openly admitted that she regrets becoming an adult star in the first place. Credit: PG/Bauer-Griffin / Getty
The Ongoing Struggles: Relationships and Personal Consequences
Rhoades has also spoken out about the strained relationships she has because of her past.
“The neighbors will tell you that you can’t live next to them because they have children. Your boyfriends will tell you no one will ever love you because of your past. It’s held over you every day of your life," she said.
But despite the ongoing struggles, she has found success after leaving the adult industry. She has built a lucrative business as a social media influencer and has become a self-made multi-millionaire.
Still, the scars from her time as an adult star continue to impact her, especially as she fights for control over her digital legacy.
In a desperate plea, Rhoades has begged adult sites to remove her 400+ videos and has spoken about her wish to reclaim control over her image.
"If I could go back, I would give up everything to have my dignity and respect back, and for people not to be able to see me in that way," she confessed during a 2021 appearance on Harry Jowsey's Tap In podcast.